I had a really great feeling about tonight (last night/This morning?)

I’m a really happy camper.

I’m just not feeling it tonight.

I don’t know what it is.
I need to be more optimistic.

I’m 5 minutes away from recording my dumb cousin’s telephone call and making it go viral.

Dear cousin,

Get off the phone I pay for.

That awkward moment when you’re being stalked on one website

so you go complain about it on a different one.

I suppose I could just block him.

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(via milkplusdrencrom)

  • Nick: Jeff, when do you sleep?
  • Jeff: Sunday.